Now I'm at Hobo Camp

Hey team:

So kickball continues its resurgence in popularity here at Nerd Camp.

[Actually I'm not at Nerd Camp; I'm now at what's called the Center for Talented Youth's Civic Leadership Institute. CLI is run by employees of the Civic Education Project, which is hosted at Center for Talented Development (similar org to CTY), and CTD is based out of Northwestern. I'm employed officially by CTD, but I'm at a location that has CTY lanyards and CTY rules and regulations, but not CTY culture... which initially worried me, but then we got around to today's game of kickball.

At kickball, this rising junior named Rishi kicks the ball into what appears to be left field. The first baseman (a kid named Charlie) literally runs RIGHT INTO a football player named Taylor's nuts. You could hear the SMACK. Taylor was not paying attention. He was later seen walking around with a big plastic supermarket bag, clutching his you know what. The bag like leaks. Girls regaled to me about how they'd rein in their snickers until after they got past him. Also he lain on his back like a sad, sad person. Rishi is pretty proud of himself for scoring that homerun, since everyone was paying attention to Taylor post:collision. (Also he's proud for causing that injury.) Taylor seemed to boast about the fact that kickball got violent.

We don't get to roll this shabbos

I just want to say it was a blast kickballing with the IDROS crowd this season. Thanks for convincing me to join, Brighton.
The last game was a bit anticlimactic, for those of you who weren't there. Hell, I almost didn't go, until Kat called me to guilt me into a Dayquil-hazed, zombie-like appearance. The opposing team took it too seriously for it to be a ton of fun. Wish I had been up to the task of attending the festivities afterward, but I had to go home and sleep.
That said, I think we did pretty damn well this season. Midseason we had some momentum going that I didn't see coming after our first couple of games. And second-place at the flip-cup tourney was a good deal of fun.
At the moment, I'm not planning on doing the fall league. I just started a new part-time job three nights a week, so I don't know if I want to add more to my schedule. If anyone wants to twist my arm, it's possible that I could be convinced otherwise, though.
That said, y'all should come out to the Red and the Black on H Street NE sometime. I'm working there on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays, taking money for the shows upstairs. If you like to see good indie/heavy/poppy/alt local rock, it's the place to be.

We may not get to roll this coming shabbos, but we can certainly drink for dirt cheap at the party that night. See you guys at the end-o-season party on Saturday.

-Steve

The Flipcup Tournament...Belligerence at its Best

We finished 2nd in the flipcup tournament out of 16 teams from all of DCKickball's divisions. We played 5 best of 5 games and 2 best of 7 games and we filled up about 30% of the cup each game. With drinking between games as well, I would estimate that we each drank 15 beers to advance to the final game.

This is me hoisting the trophy after we won the first bracket.

Here is Steve smiling happily.

Here is an action shot.

Look at us. Pure dominance.

We played a really obnoxious team in the final who brought 4 extra players whose job was to yell and cheer. One of the dudes on their team also threw a beer on Carter for no reason after they won. This resulted in Carter calling him "a volcano who can't handle his liquor". This is what happens when you drink 15 beers in the middle of the day.

The Flipcup tournament is one of my favorite days of the year for this reason. Last year I drank 18 beers then decided to hang out with the white team at Millie and Als and take tequila shots. One of the guys on this team was named "Pork Chop" and we quickly befriended each other. We were so drunk we thought it would be fun to slap each other across the face for fun. I don't know what it is but flipcup really brings out the aggression in people. It's amusing to think back about how much of a debacle the day really is.

Instead of playing kickball, I have been at nerd camp

And my summer at nerd camp has been okay. I definitely miss my kickball team and speak of you guys often. On my first day back in LA, a Wednesday, I was on the phone constantly with Hutch to ensure that we had enough people to play. I'm at a site I have never been to in prior summers (four at LMU), which has been good in that I have seen a new place and mostly bad because I a) HATE CHANGE and b) really disliked the lack of organization manifest in the organization. But I did make a couple of friends (a bunch of frat boys from College of Wooster) and form an alliance with the few RAs who were deemed competent (a high compliment in the world of camp counseling).

With one of the frat boys, David, I brought Tom Ryan's favorite activity besides Robot Wars to Santa Cruz. Renamed Glue Stuff to DO and Sirinya (as opposed to Glue Stuff to Tom and Jason), the kids glued and blue-taped streamers, construction paper, twigs, plastic stuff and manboobs for 45 minutes. It was their favorite activity ever.


The original activity:

I cheat at kickball

So we won again last night 8-5 over a team with 6 girls and 2 guys. We actually should have won by more but half of our outfield was drunk for some reason. It was like herding cats.

I don't want to discuss the game for that reason. I want to discuss the playoffs. We are playing the Gold team. Again. Lickballs. They are the Apollo Creed of our season having beaten us twice. The purpose of this post is to tell the world that I cheat at kickball.

While everyone else in the league is sleeping, I'm running stairs and lifting weights in my gym. My favorite are the leg extensions. My quads are humongous right now. This allows me to hit the ball farther than anyone else in the league and puts our team at an unfair advantage.

I am going to go into training for the next 6 days until the game next week. I plan to eat 6 raw eggs and run at 5 in the morning up the steps of the lincoln memorial. I will get one of my friends to repeatedly hit me in the stomach with a 2x4. I will chase after live chickens to improve my foot speed. Playoffs are the reason why I'm here. People think I'm crazy to care so much about kickball. But I question whether these people have ever truly sacrificed themselves in the pursuit of a championship.

Last year we entered the playoffs in a similar position and got to the championship game. I would not be denied that day. I caught a bunt and threw it at the other team's bench and yelled at them to stop man bunting. I hit 3 home runs. It was sick.

Now please excuse me while I run 5 miles, dead lift 300 pounds and do 500 pound squats. I will post later in the week with my progress.

Pre-Game Warm Up

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Last game of the regular season and it's a late one. I'll be organizing a team warm up session, starting at 5:30 or so. The warm up will consist of $3 Jack Daniels drinks (or your performance- enhancement of choice) at Jack's on 17th, right near the field of battle. I think several sets of 80 proof excercises should get us loose enough to play at our best. Let me know if you all are interested. Call me if you need to. 206.790.0888.

Lemon Yellow > Pink

We won. It was a very satisfying victory because they were a very competitive team. They are the first team we beat that had a winning record (3-1). Everyone on their team could catch and bunt well. However, we have the best bunt defense in the league with my cannon arm at 3rd base and the catching skills of Jeremy and Jeff. Not to mention the veteran pitching of Brian and the amazing athleticism of Adam at 1st base.

We won based on our offense, taking the extra base mercilessly. Next week we play big Red, a 1-5 team. If we win we get back to .500 for the playoffs. We are having a strength and conditioning session at 7am on Sunday morning at a secret location to prepare.

Back in the game

WE WON WE WON WE WON :)

Man, that was a great game last night-- everyone played awesomely and did I mention that we won? First of all, huge shout-out to Ashley and Jennifer of the teal team who totally stepped up and played with us since we were two girls short. Without them, this win would not have been possible.

Highlights of the game:
-awesome pitching by Brian (as always)
-beautiful firstbasemanship by Adam
-ridiculous defense by Hutch (um, remember the inning where no one else even touched the ball?)
-fabulous hustle and effort by everyone!

Hope everyone has a fabulous 4th of July holiday! See you on the 11th for another win!

Cheer up

On a brighter note, though, while I was looking for a picture to put with the post below, I found this. This totally makes my day.

Team!

Turnout on wednesday was pretty weak. Our two-game winning streak apparently convinced quite a few newbies to tag along, I hope they weren't turned off by the lame turnout from the veterans. We didn't lose bad, but it wasn't an impressive performance, either, particularly on offense. Even our flip-cup skills were sub-par.

Oh, well. It's just kickball, but it is more fun to win. Only two more games left, let's have some more fun.

Big Game

As far as standings go, this looks to be a big game. For some reason, we get to play the ball-lickers twice (and for some reason, do not come up against the Ball Dodgers). If we win today, that will put us ahead of the lickers in the standings, I think, thanks to tiebreaker points (though, honestly, I don't really know how those work). If we loose, it could permanantly relegate us to the bottom half of the division.

Keep that in mind, team.

Beat the Lickballs

"What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby! "

The irony of the above statement is hilarious to me. Jesus Quintana is referring directly to Walter "I don't roll on Shabbos" Sobchak. Well, Jesus Lickballs, we are going to Bring IT. We will unveil our secret weapon, 7 foot tall Adam Heller.

I'm not sure what licking balls suggests about your team. Your team name "Kickball? I thought you said Lickballs?" seems to be a shoutout to Jesus Quintana. Or else it may suggest a predilection for teabagging. Whatever the case, tomorrow will be an interesting game. The battle of the yellow shirts has begun.

Tomorrow I will continue to bring my consistent excellence to the kickball diamond. I am beginning to approach the skill level I displayed during the playoffs last season, when young children watched all of our games just to witness the Michael Jordan of kickball. Someday John Feinstein will write a book about me and our team.

Jesus Quintana: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up. The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man. Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click." The Dude: Jesus. Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus. Walter Sobchak: Eight-year-olds, Dude.

That's right, Jesus Quintana is a pederast. We cannot lose tomorrow. We will not.

Things are looking up

We've won two games in a row; the last was by a run margin of 12. Liz Zamorski scored two, Brighton scored one, and Hutch firmly established that we should also participate in the DC JCC's Dodgeball Turkeybowl fundraiser fest.

This is such an incredible turnaround from the start of the season.

Not to say that we didn't have a good time. We had a fantastic time. At the bar. The kickball portion of the evening was kind of messy. It was so bad that even I asked to go to the bar early and I try to be Sober Sirinyay most of the time. We had lost Kyle, who usually positions himself in center field and dashes across the field, then starts running after the opponent, looking like a total foolio. (I usually yell, THROW THE FRIGGIN BALL BACK TO THE PITCHER so we can kill the play, but nobody listens to me.)

Also, Adam Heller, whom we had not heard from since the conclusion of last season, had signed up for the team. Except he hadn't shown up. Ever. And Adam Heller is wicked excellent at first base. If the ball rolled within the in-field, Hutch would chase after it and sling it to Adam. And every single time, Adam managed to make the catch look so graceful.

Hutch and I obviously have been talking Adam up to the rest of the rookies all season. And along with Becki, we finally met up with Adam after a year's absence of his presence on the field at Ben's Chili Bowl.

Becki whispered, "He's not as tall as you said he was."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. Talking came out Tawking, as I have started regressing into my Rachel Block-pseudo Long Island Jew but originally from Owings Mills, MD accent.

"Adam," she hissed. "He's not 7 feet tall like you said he was."

I looked up at Adam. He seemed plenty tall to me. Because I've grown into my habit of asking obnoxious questions, I asked him: "So how tall are you anyway?"

He told us his height. (Not seven feet, but definitely much taller than ME).

Hutch demonstrated this to Becki by asking Adam to raise his arms. Becki and I are both the same height and we promptly stared up above Adam's face to his finger tips. They extend well above seven feet. Heaven music went off in my head. (Hutch's too, probably.) My and Hutch's persistence in cajoling Adam into showing up for our kickball geams was totally worth it.

Holy smokes, moving sucks

So I am taking a break from a very important task - packing!

I can't believe it. My time here in DC is almost over. And I didn't realize how hard it would be to leave.

I did my undergraduate degree at Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts. I loved Northampton. It was the perfect college town for me - walkable, intensely liberal, and quirky - but I was ready to leave.

But I don't know if I am ready to leave DC.

I wasn't planning on leaving so soon. In fact, I was planning to be here through the end of the kickball season. (Why else would I have joined?) But things happened and plans changed. Also I killed my 27th mouse two nights ago, which affirmed my decision to get out of my apartment.

My summer will take me to many places - Philadelphia, Santa Cruz, San Francisco, Las Vegas, New Orleans, and Boston.

But I will miss my kickball team tremendously. I will miss the Hutchster for his intense loyalty to kickball as both a sport and as a way of life. No way did I know that I would become such good friends with the guy who walked in on me and Tim Lee hooking up. I will miss our captain Brian, as he is the nicest guy in the world (seriously), and his dog Wookie. I can't believe I just met Becki. There are so many other people to mention too: Lizzie (Z), her former roommate Jeremy, Brighton, Fred, Kat (my heckling fiend in crime), Adam Heller (whom I forgive for NEVER SHOWING UP THIS SEASON). Steve.

My sister Patty stared at me in a different way on Saturday night when she and her bff Olivia came to our kickball party at Grand Central. By this, I mean I wasn't sure she could take me that seriously. We play kickball and at the bar, we play flipcup. "Isn't that so college?" she'd asked. Perhaps. But it's fun. Kickball had a stable place in my life. As a member of the Lame Train of Life, without kickball (and frisbee; I played on a WAFC team for four seasons), I know I wouldn't see my friends as often nor would I have met as many people as I have in DC.

So I'm grateful.

Meanwhile Patty and Olivia did win huge brownie points in the eyes of Carter Rabasa, the founder of DCKickball and one of my and Hutch's reasons for living, when they walked up to where he was collecting donations for our charity, Project Northstar, and handed him an extra five bucks. "For no reason whatsoever except to give," Carter remarked when he came by me, the sister and Olivia later on Saturday night.

In closing, I leave you with a picture of my new digs and footage from our last game.
http://picasaweb.google.com/GoingBackToLA/ShabbosVictory2

Bye Week Blues...and Farewell to Sirinyay

This week we are on bye. The league had enough of us winning and decided to give us a week off to let the other teams win. Good. I will be in the gym this entire week throwing steel. I will make sure to focus on my legs and my throwing arm so that I can hit more home runs and throw the ball with enough force to knock people over.

Sirinyay is leaving the East Coast for her LA dreams this week. She will be missed. Sirinyay Tritipeskul, dutiful ex girlfriend of my friend Timothy Lee, is a shining light in Washington, DC. Her friends call her a DC legend. We will have to find a new legend to take her place.

Hutch

Columbia Mid-Season party rocked

Me, my sister Patty (she is like four inches taller than me, and has on heels), and the Hutchster (smiling brightly because he KNOWS he wants to be in the picture).

I boogeyed down, practicing my nerd camp dance moves, on the dance floor at Grand Central in Admo. Ari and Steve boogeyed with me. Hutch focused on the flip cup.

More pics and words to come.

Thoughts on the 16-4 victory

This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.

This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK....A....STRANGER....IN THE ASS!

We brought the strategy and the fury again to the kickball pitch last night. It became embarassing at the end of the game. After hitting home runs in the first two innings, we held a 14-4 lead at which point I decided that defense was the key to winning the game. I then became a maniac at third base, running down every ball and then running towards helpless girls and pegging them. By the end of the game, I had one girl punch me in the arm for chasing her into the outfield, another girl who refused to shake our hands after the game because I got a running start and threw the ball at her shoulder, and the last batter of the game STOPPED RUNNING to first base and waved her arms saying "ok, ok!" because I was running full steam at her. I then flipped the ball underhand lightly at her and the game was over.

Maybe I was playing "too hard" but that's the only way I know how to play. There is no crying in kickball. The only thing I feel bad about is I threw it pretty hard at the one girl because it was a close play. We are definitely the thugs of the league. Every game there are at least 2 collisions, including Becki taking someone's legs out in this game. Actually, she was just tagging the base and he completely ran into her. Somehow the refs called him safe even though:

A. She tagged the base before he got there

B. He ran into her which means she tagged him as well

C. He fell past the base and he got up and was standing 5 feet from the base and we tagged him again.

I'm still bitter about that but we got all of the runs back when I hit a grand slam in the next inning.

I feel it was a stirring send off for our fearless kickball champion Sirinyay. She has really grown from someone who didn't know how to play into a bunting on base percentage machine. She will truly be missed.

Now to the matter at hand. We have a 2 game winning streak and are 2-0 since the implementation of the lineup. We need to keep scoring at will and tighten up our defense and we have a shot at running the table. Let's bring the pain!

Squashing victory 16-4

Old skool kickball.

Becki races off to first base!

For this, my last game of competitive adult kickball, the marking of the end of my DC era yuppiehood, my beloved team, "I Don't Roll on Shabbos" whooped ass on the competition, winning 16-4. (Granted the other team was way undermanned).

Victory was sweet and we played well. Liz Z scored not only one but two runs and Brighton scored one run. (There is great video of her jumping up and down for joy when she made it second base...) I don't even know who scored what. I lost track because I was having such a good time, even if I couldn't play because I had a minor concussion incurred from falling off my bike.

An aside - moments before the game started:
Captain Brian: Oh I thought you were joking when you said you were going off to get your head checked.
Me: [classic awkward; stares at him as though I were perfectly normal] Why would I joke about that?

Cyclone Dennis from nerd camp fame came out for this, my last kickball game. He rocked a t-shirt that was about six sizes too small and donned cleats. We went through a process of switching shirts with other teammates.

I'd really like to challenge the other teams we lost to horrendously to a rematch.

The league is now scared of us

The captain came to play last week. The ferocity of his kickball energy could only be matched by his team's reckless thrashing of the other team.

The league is now scared of us. We could be the greatest 1-3 team in kickball history.

We are going to win on Wednesday. We are going to beat them down worse than Brick Tamland during the news fight.

No Kickball?!?

So apparently there aren't any games scheduled this week. Wtf?
Well, the momentum of the WDROS steamroller will surely last two weeks. Rest up, team!

WAKA people suing each other

Carter posted a link to an article in the Washington City Paper announcing some d-r-a-m-a going on internally within the WAKA world. Here's the text:

Owners of Kickball Goliath Now Suing Each Other

Posted by Dave McKenna on May. 18, 2007, at 12:16 pm

The evil geniuses who make a living by claiming a kids game as their own aren’t playing well with each other anymore.

The four founders of the World Adult Kickball Association (David Lowry, Jimmy Walicek, Johnny LeHane, and Rich Humphrey) made themselves look like playground bullies last year by filing a federal lawsuit against fellow local adult kickballer Carter Rabasa. That complaint alleges that Rabasa’s league, DCKickball, violated copyright law by using the same kickball rules that WAKA and every third grader since caveman times use.

Well, it turns out that those wacky WAKAns aren’t content to just sue outsiders. While waiting for the DCKickball litigation to be resolved, these fine fellows are suing each other, too. According to the Virginia Lawyers Weekly, the three other founders apparently decided that Humphrey wasn’t pulling his weight and voted him out of the limited-liability corporation that owns WAKA and takes in millions of dollars in dues. Then they filed a lawsuit against Humphrey in circuit court in Fairfax County alleging he was tampering with the group’s Web site. (WAKA brass is big on Web-site chicanery, having bought up the dckickball.com domain name after Rabasa announced his intention to form a rival league.) Then Humphrey filed a countersuit against the other three, using all sorts of grownup words like “fiduciary” to say that his apparently ex-pals ripped him off.

Somebody needs a spanking!

Seriously. Seriously!

It sounds like a disaster. Also it sounds like WAKA has endless sums of money and lawyers on retainer and plans to spend a lot of time generating paper in a paralegal's cubicle.

Ohmygod we won

We friggin' won. We WON. First game of the season!

We had a full house too - me and Hutch, Brian, Fred, Lan, Kat (heckling from the sidelines and on the field), Ari, Jeremy, Zach, Jeff, Noah, Becki, Liz, Liz's gf Alisha, Brighton's friend Joanna. And the other team... well they didn't have enough guys. So inevitably we beat them. But we didn't know that.

Hutch can write up a far more effective write up than this. But lets' just say that Hutch, Brian and I got sick of losing and started strategizing. We were up by 3 at the end of the first inning, and swept the other team away by the end of the 3rd. Lizzie scored a run. She wants everyone to know that. Kat wanted dibs on the returning MVP dibs. Rookie MVP honors goes to Lan, for continuing our multi run streak in the first inning alone.

In the third inning, Steve was at first and I was behind him in right field and I kept yelling that I had his back. (This didn't go so well). Fred made the most bizarre loop around the bases and almost got Hutch out. Like somewhere between second and third, he made a detour or something. I didn't understand it.

Hutch totally took charge of the team strategy. I am so proud of him.

It was a heart racing, heart pumping round of kickball. I am going to be so sad when I have to leave.

Meanwhile the league party is at Grand Central in AdMo on June 9th.

At the bar, first we proved we were the better yellow against the goldenrod team ("Lickballs"), which was okay because there was a guy on that team who was sort of cute. Then we got together and ganged up on the team we beat earlier ("the Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins", whatever the hell that is). There was this dude on the green team who started totally hard core heckling us and Hutch and I would smack him on the forehead and scream back at him.

So see you again next week! I'll be the one with the cube.

Tonight, Redemption is spelled H U T C H

Tonight, the unbridled beast will return to the kickball field.

Tonight, the other teams will tremble.

Tonight, they will need an extra ball after I split one in two.

Tonight, I will land on the field in a helicopter wearing helicopter shades.

We must win tonight. Let's win one for Sirinyay, who is leaving for LA.

Let's win one for our faithfully departed - Allie, Damian, Kyle, Heather, Suja, Andrea, the Hebrew Hammer, Sean, Rebecca, Adam Heller.

Let's harness the passion, skill and energy from our dominating flipcup night to a kickball win.

Let's put the league on notice that we will not let this aggression stand.

Let's argue every call with the referee.

Let's make fun of the other team for bunting.

Let's win.

Pics from Week 4- Courtesy of Brandy

Click here: http://picasaweb.google.com/brandice78/BVRWeek4 for some more sweet pics from Wednesday.

Happy Friday everyone!

I'm sorry I wasn't there

I ran into Steve-O near Brighton's place while riding my bike home from work. I was rocking my Youth L yellow shirt (thank you Carter for dutifully fulfilling my requested size), so of course Steve-O could see me from a mile away. So it rained for like an hour way before the game started, but the grass was soaked and the likes of me and Hutch would've messed up the field had we played. Steve-O asked me where I was headed, as he was going to the bar. I went home. To pack. That's because I am leaving the DC metro area.

So last night, I packed up the books I wanted to schlep home. Team, you may claim any of the following selections:

-GRE prep books (a Kaplan guide, 10 sample tests, etc) and variations of how to get into graduate school
- Summer Breeze by Elin Hildenbrand
- a book by Anita Shreve
- Take Time for Your Life (a life coach book)
- Take Time for Your Finances (a finances book)
- Healthwise Notebook (a Kaiser Permanente publication
- Prep, Curtis Sittenfeld's outstanding debut novel

I know I am lame. My lame train name is JewBagel.

We are the champions

...of flip cup, that is. For those of you that did not make it to the Front Page last night (i.e. everyone except myself, Steve, Dan Yang, Hutch and Ari, with a brief cameo by Jen), you missed a great show. It started off small-- me (double-cupping) and Brandy (from Bob Vance; a real trooper--she had just given blood AND it was her bye week, but she still came!) versus Hutch, Dan and Steve-- and then got bigger as we stole more and more tables and found some people from the Lickballs team to play against. Basically, IDROS plus Brandy plus Donovan dominated the entire time, including when we all used only our left hands to flip. I think the other team maybe won two games. But that's just because we let them, kind of like they let their little sister win sometimes...
I could go on and on about how amazing our flip cup performance was, but I will soon be posting some pictures that I think speak for themselves (e.g. cups being flipped with tongues, feet, elbows, etc.)
Anyway, thanks to everyone who was there for a good time, and to everyone who wasn't-- now you know what you are missing.

Jesus hates kickball

So the games have been cancelled tonight, due to weather which hasn't even arrived yet. Reminds me of the time I was in Junior High in Seattle when school was closed early because of an expected windstorm, which wasn't even supposed to start until 5 pm, and didn't actually start until 10 pm. Regardless, we were let out of school at 1 pm. No one complained.

So who's planning on going to the Front Page tonight?

The Art of the Man Bunt

The Man Bunt is what bothers me the most about kickball. The Man Bunt occurs when someone who appears to be male steps up to the plate in kickball and then daintily taps the ball in front of home plate. He then invariably sprints like a girl to first base with his arms waving all over the place. Are you that intimidated by the kickball defense that you need to do this? Are you afraid of someone catching the ball? Are you afraid of someone gunning you out at first base? What are your motives for playing kickball, proving just how afraid you are? Go find another, safer sport. Why don't you try synchronized swimming?

Unfortunately, the prevalence of man bunters in the league has cause kickball defenses to come up with new strategies to defend the powerful tactic. I once was at a game where the defense had the catcher in front of home plate, the 3rd baseman and pitcher creeping up, and another infielder in between the 3rd baseman and the pitcher. It's kind of sad that kickball has evolved into this type of game.

The main defense that my team uses is that I loudly proclaim "Ladies and Gentleman, that was a MAN BUNT!" upon successful completion of this humiliating exercise. I've also been known to read the bunt and charge home plate with enough speed to catch the ball in the air. During the playoffs last year there was a team that had 100% man bunting during the semifinals. They went up 4-0 using this tactic. During the third inning, I read a bunt perfectly and caught the ball in the air. I then ran up to the other team's bench and threw the ball at them and yelled at them "this is what happens when you MAN BUNT" exactly like how Walter says in the Big Lebowski "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" Needless to say, we immediately rallied and won 5-4.

Attitude is everything

So we lost. Again. But it's okay because we got to finish up the keg at Liz and Jeremy's afterward. (And I played pool there, which is a potentially bad idea.)

I think we may actually be at the bottom of the league. However, we finally found ourselves a decent first baseman (the Token Asian Guy, Dan) whom I think he'd be even more effective at second base or as short stop. So Adam Heller, where ARE you? Ari and I were the only ones to score runs; we were at the top of the line up, so Capts Brian and Hutch are doing something right.

Becki is on the injured list. She injured her thigh somehow, but I hope she makes it back next week.

Kat is our returning MVP because she got three fly balls in a row. Dan the TAG is the rookie MVP because he did an outstanding job tagging people out at first base.

Come out and see us next week. You'll find me on the sidelines cubing because watching the actual game itself is too stressful for me.

THIS IS NOT NAM

Our ref in the last game blew it for us. One of the girls on the other team was taking a lead off of second base when they scored the go ahead run. She was halfway to third base and I immediately started screaming "SHE IS TAKING A LEAD". This incident reminded me of our team ethos - Walter Sobchak:
Walter Sobchak: OVER THE LINE! Smokey: Huh? Walter Sobchak: I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul. Smokey: Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude. Walter Sobchak: Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame. Smokey: Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude. Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. The Dude: Walter, ya know, it's Smokey, so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal. It's just a game, man. Walter Sobchak: Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Smokey: Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8. Walter Sobchak: [pulls out a gun] Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain. The Dude: Walter... Walter Sobchak: You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain. Smokey: I'm not... Walter Sobchak: A world of pain. Smokey: Dude, he's your partner... Walter Sobchak: [shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero! The Dude: They're calling the cops, put the piece away. Walter Sobchak: Mark it zero! [points gun in Smokey's face] The Dude: Walter... Walter Sobchak: [shouting] You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero! Smokey: All right, it's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck? Walter Sobchak: ...It's a league game, Smokey.

WAKA

Sirinyay,

You better be careful or WAKA will sue you for defamation. I don't understand why they care if someone calls them the Microsoft of kickball. I would love to be a multi billionaire, personally, and dominate my industry. It is pretty clear to me they are trying to squash the competition.

I have to hand it to WAKA for starting the idea of kickball in the first place, but I think that DCKickball is a better league for the following reasons:

• Carter Rabasa - Has always been honest and generous with the social funds (I'm a sucker for free food and beer). We always get a response whenever we email him about league issues.
• Less teams means there is more of a family feel. I see the same people year after year.
• The people are nicer
• I don't feel like I'm going to Walmart, I feel like I'm going to Target.
• The fees are lower and you get more for your money
• There isn't broken glass on the field
• Sirinyay is in this league and hates WAKA. Seriously, why would anyone want to mess with her? She is 100 pounds! She wouldn't hurt a fly!

The DCKickball lawsuit still continues

Lizzie G., my bff, sent me a link to DCist's blog entry on the WAKA LLC v DCKickball. Apparently the lawsuit still continues. For those not in the know, WAKA is currently suing Carter Rabasa, founder of DCKickball, for the sum of $356,000 for - get this - copyright infringement and defamation. The copyright infringement stems from the supposed stealing of rules and the defamation stems from the time that Carter was quoted in the press calling WAKA the Microsoft of kickball. (It was an opinion, but furthermore, it could be argued that WAKA is the Microsoft of kickball.)

The suit is currently in its discovery phase. Fundraising so far for the case has been meager - just some $2500. That's the problem with being primarily a league for young DCers -- most of us have no money.

Anyway, the case has gotten attention in other media outlets over the past year and in the past couple of days:

• The Sports Law Blog has written today and back in 2006 about the case.
  
• The Sacramento Bee wrote yesterday about the rise of WAKA Kickball up in their area.

The Sports Law Blog quoted a John Marshall School of Law professor who pointed out the weaknesses in the WAKA case:

You are free to copy the method of play, but you need to express it in your own words (or in words in the public domain) . . . The protection for the wording of rules has limits, however. When there are only a limited number of ways to express a rule, which would seem to apply in this kickball case, others should be free to copy the rule's wording under copyright's "merger" doctrine . . . WAKA's claim sounds very weak. It seems WAKA thinks it can monopolize a game mechanic or a short, one-sentence statement of a game mechanic. -- Professor William Ford

To me, it seems as though the (moronic) bigwigs at WAKA wanted to intimidate Carter into shutting down the league. Click here to read my own two cents on the controversy... It makes me ESPECIALLY angry, given how unresponsive WAKA was to our own concerns about its lack of policing and enforcement of its policies.

Our blog welcomes all estonians

So I am looking at our site meter stats (it's a pretty cool tool at the bottom of the page). Here is a breakdown of the countries for people who have visited the site:

United States - 92% Here is where I am shocked because I thought it would be 100%
Sweden - 1%
Norway - 1% I am seeing a trend here. We are popular in Scandinavia!
Cambodia - 1% I didn't even know they had internet. I associate their country with brutal dictators.
Spain - 1%
Estonia - 1% I wouldn't be able to find this country on a globe.
Argentina - 1%
Unknown - 2%

How are they finding us?

The rug really tied the room together.

Hey, kickball is a cause!

Overheard (from here):

Everyone's gotta have something to believe in.

18th and H Streets, NW:

Woman: "Are y'all protesting something?"
20something: "No ma'am. Kickball. We're drinking."

Yet more pics, this time from the website

Yay team!

Yellow stands on the sidelines
Steve pitches

Becki tries to kick but misses the ball (sorry dear)
Yellow in the background


Now onto the bar!

Fred and Ari roll up their sleeves
Liz cheers!

part 3 of kickball game 1 pics - are you sick of this yet?

Kickball game 1 pics: part deux

My take on our 5/3 game

So for once in my life, I got to the field early. The Hutchster was already there, reffing the early game. I sat down on the side of the field and ate my dinner, which was a ham, cheese and spinach salad. After I finished that, I worked on solving the third layer of the rubik's cube. If you think that's lame, then check out this link to the greatest cubers I know because they'll totally change your mind: http://youtube.com/watch?v=_bWv1T-YuOg.

Hutch can probably render a far more accurate round-up, but here is what I remember:

• during the first inning, Liz stood out in right field. I was her backup. The ball would come flying out toward her for some reason and I'd run to catch the ball after it popped off her.
• Becky asked to pitch. This turned out to be a stellar decision. She is totally our rookie MVP. She would roll the ball so slowly that the blue team only scored one run during the three innings that she had pitched. She would also fall over sometimes after throwing the ball.
• If someone bunted, Hutch would run, grab the ball, and throw it over to first base.
• During the second inning, Fred caught all three balls that came in his direction. He deserves props as our returning MVP.

Liz, Brighton, Hutch and I noted that Kyle's absence from the kickball field was extremely visible; Kyle used to dash across from left field to right field to catch any and all fly balls. I guess now this means that Liz and I should actually practice catching.

So I found being in the outfield so stressful that I sat out the rest of the game after inning 2. And I couldn't bear to watch, so I kept my back to the game and resumed cubing. Consequently I can't tell you what happened during the rest of the game. Sorry.

Oh yes, the blue team were fabulous sports and we love them.

Hearts and kisses,
Sirinyay

Pics from Game 1: part 1

My Philosophy

We have received some comments about our post making fun of another teams costumes. I will get to that in a second, but I need to go over something first.

When Sirinyay Tritipeskul first approached me to join kickball, I responded with the following email.

Sirinyay,

Not only will I join your kickball team, I will be your biggest superstar. Kickball combines the three things I love most in the world:

1. Beer
2. Competition
3. Women

Andrew

I play kickball for these three reasons only and don't understand what other people's motivations are for playing. That is why I teased the other team for wearing costumes. I feel that kickball is the greatest game in the world because of the friends you make in the league over marathon flipcup games listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart and the "enemies" you make while trash talking.

What everyone needs to know is that I really don't take it seriously. I am allowed to tease you for wearing a costume and you can make fun of me for slipping on my ass after hitting a home run or knocking over the 1st baseman. I am making fun of myself when I act like I'm taking it seriously. I dont hate people in the league, I like that they are there to provide strong competition.

Proper Flipcup Strategies...and What NOT to do

After years of experience in flipcup, I have attained excellence in my field. Here is what my strategy is:

• Use 2 hands to place the cup as fast as possible face up
• Flip the cup a 1/2 revolution
• Try to flip it low and straight

And that's it. Watching other people play flipcup is often hilarious because they don't follow this basic strategy. Here is their strategy:

• Use 1 hand to place the cup and not pay attention whether it is face up or down
• Flip the cup straight up in the air, often going 2 or 3 revolutions
• Retrieve cup from floor or beer pitcher and repeat
  

Shomer Shabbos! Let's win tonight!

Walter Sobchak: I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos! Donny: What's Shabbos? Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit [shouts] Walter Sobchak: don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos! The Dude: Walter... Walter Sobchak: Shomer fucking shabbos. The Dude: Oh fuck it.

Pictures from our game on 4/25

Hey kickballers,

The Hutchster plucked these pictures of us from the DCKickball site. Check it out. Yellow has never looked so good.

Is that Becky making the run home?

A strange picture of us hanging out on the sidelines. I (Sirinyay) am the one with the black capris. Rafaela, Brian, Kat and Hutch are also definitely in this picture.

YAY! Me!

We don't roll on shabbos gets into their field positions. Brian is heading into the outfield while Ari prepares to pitch another no-kicker.

And there Ari goes. Man, you gotta love how the digital camera blurs the ball, making it seem like he is rolling the ball at 90 miles per hour.

Becky is at home plate, waiting for someone - anyone - to throw the ball to her and tag that dude (Josh is his name) out. She's a sharp cookie.

Hutch is proud of his biceps and flexes them at every opportunity.
In this case, it's at the pre-season party.

We play today at 7:15 in Stead Park.